I have finally fully accepted that the general population is not where I fit in. Trying to make connections there is fruitless because most people these days don’t understand the traditional woman or relationship.
Being without the presence of a traditional man in my life is hard. I crave the kind of protection, emotional support, and guidance that only their type can give. I miss having that with someone who understands and appreciates the type of woman I am. And that doesn’t seem to exist outside of our community.
I also notice that some of our communities are saturated with sexual content where the focus seems to be more of a transactional exchange instead of an old-fashioned romance. Everyone is entitled to whatever they wish, but I would love to know there are others like me who have a deeper level interest in this kind of dynamic.
Here is how I identify with being a traditional woman / tradfem (I speak from the perspective of someone without kids) and the type of relationship I resonate with – even if it is more like a fantasy instead of reality:
The woman exudes femininity through her mannerisms, personality, tastes, and appearance.
She loves to look decent each day and loves to look pretty for her man. She knows that she is a representation of his taste, especially when out in public.
She is soft-spoken, graceful, and polite. She verbally says thank you to people who help her and to her man for all that he does each day.
She would never speak poorly about her man to others and she would never have a disagreement with him in front of others. If she needs to discuss some difference of opinions or concerns with him, she can do that in private.
She supports and stands by her man and his core values and beliefs which are hopefully in alignment with hers for the most part.
She does not wish to butt heads with her man as he is the head of household and the relationship. He makes final decisions, hopefully out of love and care. Sometimes he knows what’s best for her even if she can’t see it.
She does as much as possible from the heart and soul. Her nature is genuinely to care about people and be mindful of one’s needs, especially her man and anyone who comes to the home.
She stays mindful of holidays, birthdays, and other important events in their life and will see that people they care about will receive cards, notes, and/or gifts when appropriate.
She loves to feel protected and guided by her man. She would never want to make a major decision or move without consulting with him first above anyone else in her life. He is her best friend, protector, provider, and partner.
She is supportive of human rights for all, but she rejects feminism that bashes men, contributes to the fear of men being masculine with confidence, and opposes women being traditional.
She enjoys that her man’s strengths are different than hers in some ways, and loves to see him in his natural masculine role.
When it comes to being intimate, he tops and guides things. She is submissive and in the bottom role. (I realize people may differ on this)
She loves to cook, bake, take care of the home, and take care of her man’s daily needs. Even when outside of the home or traveling together. She is always tuned into her natural feminine role.
She might even be creative and love arts and crafts. If there are children involved, she would love teaching them and engaging them with pure love, nurturing, and adoration.
She provides meals, snacks, clean clothes, a pleasant and cozy home, comfort, nurturing, any clerical and organizational work that is needed in the home or for her man. She is a secretary to her man and his personal and/or work needs.
He provides a safe home, means to survive, protection, some traditionally masculine roles around the home, and leadership. Even if they have a modest life, he enjoys taking her out on traditional dates occasionally and being a true partner with her.
They have a true and deep bond, they aren’t just in it for the sex or whatever each other can do for the other. She isn’t just his sex slave, she is his love slave and everything outside of that is a result of an authentic connection and attraction that they have from genuinely admiring who each other is and being complementary to each other.
He always knows where she is and sets any restrictions they agree upon – such as staying in touch at whatever frequency he wishes and having rules he sees fit.
He is possessive over her and she loves it. He can be as controlling, clingy, firm, restrictive as he wants with her and she loves it.
From the outside, their dynamic might look misogynistic to others, but they know they are living in deep love and respect for each other.